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Issue 16 -
August 2008
 |
Travelers and Homebodies
prose poems by
Anel Viz
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1. The
Kiss
Incurious clouds cross the sky. They pay us no attention – they’ve seen men
kiss before! Just recently in a secluded
corner of the park, lips barely brushing; more often in ancient times, and more
openly. Millennia before then, just such a kiss as ours marked
humankind’s first step from savagery.
2.
Gray Spring Morning
No birds sing. Instead,
the silent fall of rain on the lawn, its rapid high staccato on the flagstones
and louder tenor on the woodpile. Again
and again, a sudden crack like a low belch rising from the earth and the
deafening drum roll of its receding echo. Ahead of me, miles of slippery roads, peering through a
sheeted windscreen at oncoming cars, their lights on in daytime, and hours that
advance more slowly than my eager heartbeat. At the end, my lover’s arms, a glass of wine, a hot shower,
and standing naked with him in the shadow of his window to watch the storm,
until it stops and the birds burst loudly into song for a brief evening.
3. Tchin
Except in Reims or Épernay or the villages on the hills
between them, where people often crack open a bottle as an apéritif to
serve to an afternoon guest, champagne has two meanings. The first is celebration.
Champagne is the festive wine, the wine of large gatherings, of weddings
and jubilees, of dancing in the streets on New Year’s Eve, at election
victories, or the end of a war. Popping
corks and party horns punctuate noisy conversation, singing and laughter. The second is intimacy, the quiet closeness of a couple in
love, two people in their own space shut off from the humdrum world. We think of whispers and calm smiles at a
candlelight dinner, of the playful giggles of a champagne breakfast in bed, of
flames licking in the fireplace, soft jazz, and the clink of crystal – a late
night toast before the pleasures of surrender. Two flutes on the coffee table beside the ice bucket. We pour, we drink, we kiss. Shirt buttons are undone, belts unclasped,
undershirts pulled out. Hands slip
beneath them and gently run over warm skin, the soft tangle of chest hair, a
hardened nipple. More kisses. A lick on the neck just below the chin, a nip
on an earlobe, another kiss, and we drain our glasses. We refill them. I reach
a hand into his open slacks, lift out his cock, dip it in my flute, and lick
off the drops that cling to him. I slide
his pants to his knees, push up his shirt, and lick and lick – his balls, the
forking of his legs, his belly, inside his thighs. Then I take a swallow from the glass. He does the same to me.
We sink to the floor wrapped in an exchange of caresses, caresses that
turn to clawing, grabbing, squeezing, and piece by piece, our clothing comes
off. We sit up and take another swallow. I dip a finger in my glass, place a drop on
his nose, and lick it off. He puts a
drop on my nipple and sucks on it. I dip
again and draw a line across his lips, and again we kiss. Our blood bubbles like champagne, our excitement
hard and tall as the stemware, our muscles as liquid as the wine it holds. We empty our glasses. I
look at the half-empty bottle. The wine
will be flat in the morning. He sees the
look in my eye and reads my mind. Whose
reflexes will prove quicker? Who’ll be
first to grab the bottle and empty it over the other, lick the trickles that
cascade down his body till he goes limp with ecstasy, then lift him up and
carry him to the bedroom?
4. Molecules
How short-lived the molecules of our pleasure frolic in the
electric energy fields of the brain! The
sight of him, a smell, his touch, memory give birth to molecules of
desire. Their numbers grow, and one by
one they join the dance. Round and round they leap across synapses. Sparks fly up where their darting feet land
and ignite molecules of passion. Coupled
with desire they break off in whirling clusters and rush outwards to return his
kisses from behind the heightened awareness of my skin. They ferret out the sleeping gold that nestles at the base of
my spine and dance around it in a ring. It
wakens, breathes deeply, expands, and presses into me. The partners mix, and in the heat of my
seething blood recombine as molecules of ecstasy that lodge in a wide band that
runs between my legs from back to front. Whining between my buttocks and imperious below my scepter’s
knob, the nerve ends make conflicting demands, the former to be pierced, the
latter to thrust deep inside his warmth.
We tangle, we sweat, we bite, we clutch, the roar when we erupt drowns
out our beating hearts. Then for a
moment nothingness, like the hush when a short circuit plunges a bustling city
into darkness. The detritus of disintegrated molecules washes out with the
ebbing tide, leaving behind a memory from which they’ll be reborn.
5. Odd
Hours
We
make love at odd hours. Not hastily, a
few minutes grabbed here and there alone amidst a busy schedule, but at
unusual, unwonted times of day and night.
We often spend the last hour before dawn in passionate coupling, and, on
our days off, towards noon or later, when he wakes. He
gets home toward four in the morning, has a light meal, showers, and slips
under the quilt next to my naked warmth, the faint blue incandescence of his
cell phone held shoulder high so as not to trip on the dog. She went downstairs to greet him, then
promptly returned to the bedroom. A
couple of days may have passed since he last came to my bed, for he sometimes
visits family. If I stayed up late, I may be dead to the world, but more
often my sleep is nearing an end, my member engorged by dreams or
expectation. I roll onto my side behind
him, drape my arm across his belly, and pull him to me. My arousal presses on his just washed
buttocks. My face nuzzles his neck. He pushes up against me; I slide in. I hold his hip to steady my thrusts; the
fingers of my other hand grasp his hair.
The bed creaks beneath us. “Yes,” he murmurs.
“Yes... yes!”
6. A
Moment Eternalized
He lies on gray sheets, a black pillow under his chest, his
hair tousled. His eyes, staring at vacant
space, are filled with the marvel of intense pleasure recently experienced and
now slowly fading. His right leg lies
extended to one side, knee bent. The
crescent line between his buttocks curves down to his scrotum that, flattened
on the mattress beneath him, outlines each tender oval encased within. His belly, tight and flat when he stands,
protrudes as a gentle roundness, for his whole being is relaxed. Imagination supplies the rise and fall of his
breath. After making love in the morning light, I stayed inside him,
tapering my kisses and caresses till the hardness filling him had withered to a
floppy dangle. Then I withdrew, and he
gasped when my now pliant knob passed through the ring that gripped it. I went to rinse the lube from my genitals and empty a bursting
bladder. When I returned, he lay in the
same position as when I left him. He
hadn’t moved, not so much as a toe. That’s
when I snapped the picture. If I had lain any longer on top of him, the sweat that welded
our bodies together would have made us both uncomfortable, and surely he would
have shifted position to free himself.
But leaving when I did, I made it possible to see him as I see him
now. So shall he stay forever, a
captive, suspended in this photo.
7. Our
Next Bathroom
I lower the lid on the toilet seat and sit down beside where my
lover lies stretched out and soaking in the bath. Blushing coral pink in the hot water, his
flaccid penis waves like an anemone peering out from its cluster of dark filament
tentacles. We don’t bathe together.
Shower, yes, often. We soap each
other intimately, then stand pressed body to body, lingering over our kiss till
the warm downpour has washed us clean of suds.
We’ve showered together in stalls as cramped as a phone booth. But not bathe. We tried
once in my tiny tub. Though we take up
as little space when we sleep in a tangle of arms and legs, we couldn’t squeeze
ourselves into the tight rectangle of its hard enamel sides. We had our only soak together in the jacuzzi
suite of a motel where we’d gone to celebrate another milestone. We speak of buying another house someday, with a bathroom less
small to accommodate a tub large enough for two to lie together side by side or
facing one another. Facing is
better. I’d slide my foot up the inside
of his leg, and it when came to rest on his anemone, he would harden like coral. When he reached for mine, I’d draw his foot
up to my mouth and suck on his toes.
8.
Journeys Not Taken
We’ve never gone on vacation together. A couple of weekend camping trips, yes, but
never a trip to some distant destination.
He’s never left the country, nor since I’ve known him has he traveled
further than three hundred miles from where he lives. I have, and often do, for months at a
time. Someday he will come with me.
Whale watching... We’ve sailed
through Hecate Strait, past the Alexander Archipelago, and are now rounding the
Gulf of Alaska, staying close to the shoreline.
You have to wear a heavy sweater and a parka on deck, and we spend more
time in our cabin than we thought we would, reading, playing cards, making
love. Squalling seagulls follow our wake. The black ocean around us is empty; the land,
vast stretches of dark green forest and high, snow-capped mountains. We keep to ourselves mostly. When someone spots a whale, we rush with the
others to that side of the ship and raise our binoculars to see... What? Much, if there’s a pod. If it’s a lone whale, we may glimpse the arch
of a sleek back almost indistinguishable from the swells, a faint mist escaping
from its blowhole, mighty flukes raised before they sink below the surface, or
nothing if we come too late and it’s already sounded. If we’re lucky, it will
breach and land with an enormous belly-flop, sending up a splash we cannot hear
at this great distance.
A floating market on a muddy river... The activity around us, the vibrant colors of
tropical fruits and vegetables excite and frustrate me. I have no kitchen here to take them to, cut
them up, sauté or steam them, experiment with tastes and textures. Annoyed at being woken up so early, he is
leery of the unfamiliar foods and ill at ease in the jostling crowd that
chatters loudly in a language we cannot understand. He regains his composure later, on the barge-like steamboat
that carries us and other tourists upstream. We dock and pile into the rickety bus that
bounces us over red dirt roads to the ruins of ancient wats overgrown by
jungle. We spend the night in a guest
house built like a communal dwelling in the local style, a rectangular
structure set on a platform some eight feet above the ground with a wide
veranda on every side and a steeply sloping roof covered with heavy leaves
almost as large as a man, but the inside is modern, though not air-conditioned,
and the plaster ceiling below the thatch is watertight. After dark the jungle comes alive with
sound like the morning’s floating market.
The coils smoking by our feet do not deter the mosquitoes, and we retire
early. Behind our mosquito net, sweating in the sultry air, our bodies twist
together in imitation of the broken statues we visited that afternoon.
A desert caravan... Mounted on
the same camel, uncomfortable and caked in grit, we giggle every time its
rocking gait knocks us against each other.
That, and sighting a desert antelope or a running pair of ostriches
breaks the monotony of unrelenting sun and barren, rock-strewn terrain. The Berbers we travel with are glad to have us odd, ignorant
strangers who need to be shown everything. The modest fee we paid supplements what
they’ll earn in trade diminished by air travel and heavy-duty trucking, and we
dole out cigarettes and share our canned goods and (for them) luxury foodstuffs
around the cook fire at night. They’ve taught us to unstrap the tent they lent
us from the baggage animals, raise it, and cover the floor with patterned rugs
and throw cushions. The small kettle we
use to make tea is our own. We stop at a small oasis, its cool water, date palms and fine
sand strikingly beautiful after a week of empty wasteland. Late at night, eager for a proper bath, we
silently leave our tent and immerse ourselves naked in the shallow pond. Would it scandalize our hosts if they saw us
at it? The dunes gleam pale copper under a black
sky flecked with a million tiny white stars.
A coral island in a dazzling blue sea... We lie for hours on the beach, sipping iced drinks
from oversized glasses, concoctions of rum and the nectar of exotic
fruits. We wade ankle-deep along the
shore, picking up and examining seashells.
When we snorkel, bright-colored fish peer curiously at us through our
masks. The people who live here, smooth-skinned,
plump, always laughing, seem as idle as we.
They must know we’re a couple, but with regard to sex their attitude is
relaxed and uninhibited. How we spend
our nights doesn’t concern them.
Evening at the gay baths in some European city... Here we can be ourselves, let our affection show,
fondle one another openly, and no one will take offense at our arousal. Here we are among our own, with one important
difference. We’ve come here as a couple,
not on the prowl for anonymous sex, and we stay together. Towels tied around our waists, we walk hand in hand down
dimly-lit darkened corridors and overhear snatches of suggestive conversation
whispered in many languages and muffled noises of pleasure from behind closed
doors. We sit and chat with someone at
the bar, spread our towels beneath us to sweat in the sauna, rinse off together
in the open shower room. So many
beautiful male bodies to admire! Lounging in the whirlpool, we watch the silhouettes of naked
bodies washing in a narrow shower stall enclosed in smoked glass before they
enter the basin. We go there and soap
each other thoroughly, petting, kissing.
I press close behind him to simulate penetration. When we leave in search of a cubicle,
some men tag along, mistaking our display for an invitation to an orgy, but we
close the door behind us.
Where shall we go today?
Bowling? A movie? If it’s warm we’ll take the dog for a walk
around the lake in the park.
9. I-80
Crossing Rocky Mountains via Wyoming, the most direct route to
where I’m headed, but also the plainest road that traverses one of the most
beautiful of the vertical bands that divide of our country. I-80 holds to the center of a wide plateau of
tilting hills, where the lonely hours speed by, and with them the empty miles, empty
despite the hundreds of semis we pass or get stuck behind where an empty lane
closes off for repair, nothing but orange barrels on the construction crew’s
day off. Highwaymen, my kids used to
call them. To the south you see the peaks of Colorado, forested when I
traveled them last, gone now perhaps, consumed by the fires of three dry
summers. I-70 winds somewhere among
them, masked by the closest peaks, yet too distant to be seen even if the hand
of God swept them away, as He did those that once stood here. What look most like mountains along this
roadside did not push up from the earth when its bones ground together in
agony; they are products of the millennial erosion that made it a plateau,
overgrown with low grass. Above the
scrub the exposed rock rises a dull, sickly green from the copper in the soil,
not the green sickness of nausea, but the pale green painted on hospital walls
because an unnamed psychologist with no eye for art declared it soothing. It is a boring, unobtrusive green, not the
rich evergreen of Montana to the north nor the deep green of the deciduous oaks
and maples in the narrow valleys of Colorado, much less the sandstones and
ochres of the highways further south. Most often I follow I-90.
It too is a beautiful road, a different beauty from that of Colorado,
like the Canadian Rockies, but of lesser grandeur. I think the range must have come by its name
here, from the massive granite boulders rounded smooth by wind and rain and
split by the roots of trees that sit safely in the soil that fills the little
pockets they dug out of the rock. They
grow sideways for a few feet before reaching up to the sky, which shows they
got their start struggling to cling to the mountainside. I-80 is uninteresting.
In two weeks I’ll return by a more scenic route, unless I’m in too much
of a hurry to get back to him.
10.
Renaissance Man
The iconography of our male nudes comes from the Greeks –
gods, warriors and athletes in identifying poses. Even in defeat they struggle, nor does death
diminish their power. When realism
returned, the themes and subjects inherited from the Middle Ages were made to
conform to the tradition rediscovered.
Our saints still carry the spiritual symbols of the age that invented
them, but we give them the courage of the Ancients, and we paint their sinews
on our victorious Saviors hanging from their crosses. The Greeks sculpted their naked women, however, in submission
or calm repose. They have assumed those
positions once again, but breathe the air of a later age. We see them as virgins or seductresses. I have taken countless photos of my naked lover. He has the penis and muscles of a Greek god,
but lying or standing he looks at me like his Renaissance sisters.
11. Autumn
Antiphon
The leaves – flame, rust and gold – filter a mottled light
onto our window and turn the pane to stained glass. The patchwork quilt on which we sit silent as
prayer repeats the sharp-angled pieces of the puzzle. We are naked, face to face and close together, our silhouette
a W, a pair of interlocking tripods formed by the V’s where we balance on our
bottoms and two feet that point in front of us, soles flat enough to stand
on. Our knees rise like inverted V’s between
our nipples, and our legs enclose an empty space like the double walls of a
fortress, palisades of safety. Nesting
at their base, our mirrored sex gazes out languidly from the shadows as if
studying its own reflection. Or perhaps you’d see a chapel built on a vacant square, our
heads the symmetrical towers that flank the portal. Hanging between them, a soundless responsoria
like a shimmering mirage; speeding between them, the passage of an invisible
image seeking focus. Our eyes are lit with the embers which, over time, our slow
breathing will fan to fiercer fire. Our
hands rest on each other’s shoulders. The sun has gone down.
We kiss. The earth trembles. Half the masonry lifts up and slides down onto
the other. Again the veil of the temple
is rent in twain, and from below echoing hymns roll along the walls of the
crypt.
12. A
Motel Near the Airport
My flight left early and the check-in lines would be endless,
so we took a room in a motel close to the airport. We left the heavy bags in the trunk of his
car, taking only my toilet kit and a change of clothes with us. A good thing we did.
The room was tiny, only an armoire, no chest of drawers, but very clean,
spotless, and the mattress firm. It invited sex: a large mirror over the head of the bed and
another on the facing wall, and sound proof – we couldn’t even hear the planes
landing nearby. We got there late, having lingered over our farewell dinner in
an Italian restaurant. The exercise room
and whirlpool were closed and wouldn’t open till late morning. We took a last shower together and went to
sit naked in the nook-like window seat, invisible in our unlit room behind a
grid of small square panes of glass. We hadn’t much to look at except one another. Our fourth or fifth story room faced the
parking lot of a large shopping mall across the street, where two police cars
patrolled Wal-Mart’s closing hours, no doubt on the lookout for drug deals. We fucked watching the cops, and for their sake we fucked
rough. Feet firmly planted on the floor,
legs spread, he leaned forward, his forearms braced on the cushions of the
window seat. I stood behind him, my
hands clenched below his hips, pulling him back against me as I slammed into
him hard and deep. Again and again and
again he gasped with every thrust. If I
hadn’t held on to him, his knees would have buckled under him. And he did collapse, his face against the cushions, when his
seed spurted forth and stained them, seconds before my own emptied into his
vitals.
13.
The Narrow Bed
I cannot remember having ever having slept in a bed as narrow,
narrower than a twin, like the metal shelf attached to the wall of a cell, a
hospital gurney, a slab in the morgue.
I’ve had massages on tables wider than this. I have at times slept on a sofa, but sofas
have backs for support, and seats that slant toward them. This bed stands away from the wall; I could
roll off on either side. It has been my bed for over a week now, and will be for almost
three more. I saw pictures of the
timeshare, honest, accurate photos, but did not think to ask how wide the bed
was. It has a firm mattress, and is not
uncomfortable except for its width.
Lying on my back, if I place a heel in each corner, my legs open in so
slight an angle that my genitals lie on my thighs – and I am not a corpulent
man. If I open them wider and bend my
knees over the edge to touch my feet to the floor – I do this easily, though my
joints are not as flexible as they used to be – then my penis and scrotum come
to rest on the mattress. I do this to stretch my muscles. Cramps in my legs wake me in the middle of
the night. Rubbing them doesn’t help,
only stretching. I thought at first they
were sore from long walks on the beach, but I don’t feel them in the evening, only
at night, no matter how much exercise I got that day. I conclude it is the narrowness of the bed
that causes them. I have ample space
surrounding me, but my naked body feels confined. It is too narrow to realign my spine by placing one foot
alongside the other knee and twisting my torso in the other direction, my arm clutching
the side of the bed. The crossed foot
would slip off. Instead, I lie on my
stomach, hook both feet over the foot of the bed, and pull. Or I open my legs wide and hug the side of
the bed with my knees, my pelvic girdle flattened below me. This is harder to do on my stomach than on my
back. It stretches the tendons in my
groin. Lying thus, in this most vulnerable of positions, I think of
how it would feel with a pillow under my hips and someone’s weight pressing
down on me. Not someone’s – his. My sex hardens, and just behind it a familiar
warmth stirs inside. Or I imagine coming
into the room and seeing him here in my place, waiting for me. Could we both fit in this bed and sleep together as a
couple? We’ve shared a bed made for one
many times, and slept comfortably in it.
Lying pressed against each other might provide support, like the back of
a sofa.
14. Morning
Wood
For three months I’ve slept alone, three months of waking
before dawn in the loneliness of my own warmth.
A credible witness firmly testifies to dreams unremembered. No one cross-examines him; he volunteers no
details. No evidence corroborates his story. Perhaps nothing happened. Perhaps no sequence of events led inexorably
from one to the other, only random, disconnected images, meaningless to the
waking mind. He may be the creation of
his own testimony.
15. Reunion
The
day I return no longer seems so far away.
It skips across the boxes on the calendar, pulling me breathlessly
behind. It stands beside me in the
crowded aisle of the plane waiting for the doors to open. At any moment we’ll start moving
forward. My lips part for the welcoming
kiss when I throw myself around him in lobby.
Let the world see! I dream of him more often now and wake up hard and eager, my
hand running gently down my chest and over my belly. Surely I, too, fill his nights like this and
every new dawn brings a similar awakening. I force my hands to the mattress beside me, not as a
discipline, but to see what I saw in my sleep and to feel what I felt. Not my hands, but his touching me everywhere,
and then his mouth – more kisses – and soon the glow of imagined pleasure stirs
at the base of my being. I hold my legs
open for the happy song of celebration that trills between them. My fingers clutch the sheets. That song is his as well as mine. Just so I imagine him reliving his nighttime visions in the
growing light as slumber slowly recedes, and see his lips part for another
kiss, the kiss that heralds the act. My
lips also part, and my longing reaches out between them. I feel him lift my legs.
Surely he does too.
16. Passive
He met my plane. After
an eighteen-hour flight, one-third of them layovers in overcrowded airports, I
dragged my feet through the long line of customs and immigration, and stumbled
into his arms. People in a hurry to get
home pushed past us with disapproving glances.
Was it the spectacle of two men kissing or our roadblock that hindered
their hasty getaway? He drove me to his new apartment. I showered and slipped between clean sheets
on a familiar bed in a bedroom half the size of the one we shared last. Hovering between much-needed sleep and waking
desire, I felt his mouth travel over my body and sighed, “Go on. Don’t stop.
Don’t be put off if I’m unresponsive or doze off. I’ll know you’re there from beyond the
borders of consciousness.” My eyes fluttered open in the dead of night, and, tasting his
kiss, I knew that I’d come in his mouth.
17.
After a Snowfall
He drove me home late the second morning. He had to work that night, and stayed only
long enough for a lingering, gentle hug, cheek to cheek, our bodies as close
together as if we were making love. That night I slept fitfully.
I woke at first light and went downstairs to peer out at the old
neighborhood.
I had to lean on the door to open it against the drift. Oh, the
waking whiteness of a delayed
snowfall when early morning whitens the sky above it!
Already last night I heard the scrape of shovels. Silence now; a
silence the snow blowers will
later deafen. Yes, silence and sounds
both, though not the screams of the children at play, and least of all
the
unearthly shrieks of the neighbors’ youngest son. His voice
carries like a Valkyrie’s and sets
the dogs barking. I suppose to his
indulgent parents he sounds gleeful. Am I then to be summoned to Valhalla this afternoon, shoveling
snow? Dangerous exercise for a flabby
gentleman my age. And will the
battle-fallen heroes invite me to their revels, or will they snicker like the
pretty boys they are?
Anel Viz returned to his childhood
passion of writing at age 60, and looks forward to making it a full-time
occupation when he retires. He enjoys experimenting
with literary forms, and has written in a wide variety of genres, including verse,
prose poems, short stories, novellas, portraits, humor, and belles lettres,
which have appeared in a number of on-line and in-print publications. He is currently revising his first finished
novel and hopes to see it published.
Contact
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Web design by Fiona Glass
Copyright of all fiction and original artwork remains with the relevant
authors/artists
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A handful of glimpses into the life of a gay couple in
a series of 17 short, disconnected scenes that show them together and
apart. They live a fair distance from
each other, and one often spends long periods of time away on business, while his
lover seldom goes more than a couple of hundred miles from home. Earlier versions of some of these poems have appeared
in Gay Flash Fiction e-zine.
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